Article written by flamboyant psychologist -
Adejoro Olumofin aka "Doktor" Mofin
Let's talk Volume 1. (Should married women
cut off their single friends?).
Psychometrics
has shown that some married women cut off
their single friends. This has ended long
term friendships, even with siblings, caused
envy, strained childhood relationships and
created bitter rivalries.
Should married women have only married
friends? Some married women who have cut
their friends off claim that :
(1) Their focus has changed and they no longer
have similar interests or anything in common with
their single friends
(2) They don't want to get tempted back into
single ladies behavioural pattern or lifestyle such
that they develop a level of respect for being
married
(3) They don't want their single friends close to
their husbands because of temptation on both
sides as well as keeping boundaries of respect for
their spouse..
(4) The believe that single ladies are jealous of
them and could therefore be a threat to their
marriage in one way or another
(5) Disapproval of certain friends from the spouse
(6) Some friends have always opposed and still
oppose their marriage and are always looking to
pick a fault in either the spouse or the marriage
(7) The feeling of superiority over single friends
from the idea that there is somewhat a level
attained above them
(8)Protection from talking to friends about their
marriages and giving them the gun to use against
them
Are these reasons valid and true?
This does not apply to all married women obviously
but this is a very popular phenomenon in Nigeria..
There is no fixed solution or stand on this because
what works for Mrs "A" may not work for Mrs
"B", this is relative to individuals. Everyone knows
what works for them, the type of friends they
have and the type of husbands they have. Some
friends may have Ill motives and some friends may
not, some husbands may chase your friends some
husbands may not.
Let's make sure what ever decision we make is
based on best interest for the marriage to work
and for all parties but always beneficial to us.
Also make sure to put facts into consideration .
I.e the history you have with some friends and
your husbands personality. If you have any friend
that has a history of snatching your boyfriends
then you clearly don't want her near your
husband. Same If you have friends who are always
in competition with you or backbiting you etc
Don't cut your friends off because people are
doing it. Rather establish there a balance between
all relationships including family, friendship and marriage.
Read more articles on Adejoro Olumofins
instagram page : @joroolumofin
Also contact him on : olumofinj@yahoo.com
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