Brands expert Kenny Badmus, who took to his
Facebook page on December 1st, to reveal how
he's been living successfully with HIV for the last
15 years (read story here ), just revealed that he
can get married and have children if he wants to
despite being HIV positive. what he wrote below...
One of the most frequently asked questions
from hundreds of emails I received after
December 1st is : Will you be able to get
married and have a child if you are HIV
positive? [ or if you are going through some
major medical issue ].
Let me cut to the chase here and say a bold
yes. [ If I want to ]. Being Positive does not
preclude anyone from getting married or
having children – thank God for science.
Research suggests that anti-HIV therapy during
pregnancy plus planned caesarean delivery may
reduce the risk of transmission to as low as 1 in
50 women. ( AidsMap) The question is ‘how many of
these women are accessing healthcare? If you
want to have a healthy child and you are HIV +,
quickly get on therapy and follow your doctor’s
advice.
To be in love or starting to date again should not
scare anyone. And you don’t have to start looking
for HIV positive people to date. There are people
out there – though very few- who care less what
your sero status is. The best prevention you can
give your lover/spouse, if they are negative, is
for you to ensure you are on treatment. Yes.
The second largest study – 052- to look at
whether people with HIV become non-infectious if
they are on antiretroviral therapy (ART) has
found no cases where someone with a viral load
under 200 copies/ml transmitted HIV, either by
anal or vaginal sex. Although this study continues
into 2017, with best practices and eliminations of
other STDs, it’s almost impossible to infect your
partner with HIV if you are adhering to your
treatment. Even if you don’t use condoms.
(AidsMap)
Having established the foregoings, the most
important thing for me are the psychosocial issues
surrounding the quest for marriage and having a
child. It is more of a traditional thing for most of
us in Africa to want to get married or have a
child by all means. In my opinion, I think it’s a
very dogmatic way of living our lives. Why live to
make others approve of you? It’s not worth it.
Marriage or having children do not guarantee our
lives will be better.
As someone who had lived with these societal
expectations for many years myself, I became
healthier and emancipated the day I dropped
these societal impositions. Check this page soon to
see my journey into marriage, love, parenting and
more. I have seen people in marriages who are
very happy, and I have seen people in marriages
who are very miserable. I have seen people with
children who are very happy.
Just the same way I have seen people with children
who are very lonely and miserable in their old age.
What brings happiness is living our best lives.
Marriage or being being married does not solve all
our problems if we enter into it for all the wrong
reasons. Being in love is much better. Marriage is
a legalistic way of looking at love. It allows for
claims, societal celebrations and approvals of our
mates. You don’t have to be in love to get
married.
The two are not mutually exclusive although they
are better when they go hand in hand. Hence, the
sham marriages around us today. But you have to
be in love to say you are in love. Love has no true
love or false love. Marriage on the other hand can
be falsified. I’d rather you pushed towards being
in and finding love. And if that love leads to
marriage, how lucky are you! Embrace it. Do it to
gain the legal benefits if you have to marry.
Having a child is about the same. If you can have
your own child biologically, embrace it, and cherish
it. Science also has made this possible. We should
look at this at other time. If you cannot, go pour
your love on other children around you. Children
are the most visible victims of undernutrition.
According to worldhunger.org , ‘children who are
poorly nourished suffer up to 160 days of illness
each year. Poor nutrition plays a role in at least
half of the 10.9 million child deaths each year–
five million deaths.’
Further statistics reveals that undernutrition
magnifies the effect of every disease, including
measles and malaria. The estimated proportions of
deaths in which undernutrition is an underlying
cause are roughly similar for diarrhea (61%),
malaria (57%), pneumonia (52%), and measles
(45%) (Black 2003, Bryce 2005). You can be a
godmother. A foster parent. An adoptive father.
The list goes on.
Ever heard of John H. Johnson and his wife Eunice
Walker Johnson? The owners of one of the biggest
media platforms in the world, Ebony magazine.
This couple never had their own biological children.
They adopted Linda Johnson-Rice, who carried on
their legacies. History has thousands of such
couples. Having a womb and a dick do not make
parenting. What makes great parenting is our
heart of love.So there you have it. Remove the
limitations and the dogmas surrounding your life,
and go have some fantastic authentic life. Love.
Travel. Eat well. Go volunteering. Give. Buy
chocolates. Go partying. Dance. Laugh. Read new
books. Write. Take pictures and #LIVE
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