When the sexy actress visited New York sometime
ago, and, at a reception I had arranged for her
at the TROPICAL GRILL Restaurant/Lounge York,
I informed her that I would love to have an honest
and candid interview with her, with the sole
purpose of finding out what has been the source
of her martial success and the challenges she may
have faced remaining true to her values, and vows
in an industry where such vows are sacrificed at
the altar of conspicuous consumption edged on by
the rich and the powerful who regard popular
actresses as trophy acquisitions.
I told Omotola that my interview with her was
going to be decidedly different – it was going to
dwell primarily on her personal life and nothing
else – a declaration she had enthusiastically
agreed to. “Thank God it is going to be different
from all those hackneyed and generic line of
questionnaire I have been used to”, she told me as
we sat in her hotel room.
I started by asking her what had been the secret
of her success in marriage. “I have been favored
by the Lord”, she began. “I am truly blessed to
have been married to one-of-a-kind husband who
appreciates what I do, encourages me to excel in
my craft. Let me tell you this: I take my
marriage very seriously. If you treat your
marriage with levity and careless abandon, you will
reap the reward for such bad behavior. My
husband is an angel, brought by God to my life,
and it has been a blessing having him as my
husband.”
As one of the most desirable and sexy actresses in
Nollywood and knowing how persistent men of
power and influence can get in wanting to have
celebrities as trophy lovers, I asked Omotola if
she had received material things from men who
ran after her.
“Sure, I have received lots of goodies from my
male admirers,”she deadpanned. So what gives –
what is the qui pro-quo? “Nothing”, she replied.
“I do not give anything in return. I always tell
them that I am married and would not compromise
my martial vows. If after making that point clear,
they still continue to shower me with gifts, maybe
believing that something will break in the future,
then I cannot help them.”
Asked if she had ever met men that she genuinely
took a liking to, and was tempted to sacrifice her
marital vows, she answered:
“Absolutely. I have been tempted many times to
cheat on my husband by men I really liked. But
when you think of what you stand to lose, the
destruction of all you have labored to build, when
you weigh all the options, you are left to conclude
that it is not worth the trouble. I know some
women will find this somewhat objectionable, but if
they want to be truthful to themselves, they will
agree with me that, as married women, we have
all faced moments that I have just described.”
Do you feel emotionally detached as a result of
many years of marriage or, put differently, has
your passion for your husband cooled with time?, I
asked. “Of course, it has”, she said matter-of-
factly. “Which married woman who has been with
her husband for years will, in her true state, tell
you that the feeling has remained the same as it
was the first time or the first year she met her
husband? It is bound to cool off. What I
recommend to women is what I call “temporary
separation.” You will make yourself unavailable to
your husband. Go somewhere – go on vacation with
your friends, do something bold, lose weight, look
different and, after weeks, come home, looking
drop dead gorgeous, and I bet you, the fire of
passion will be mightily rekindled and you will feel
brand new again. I have applied this principle in
my marriage and it has worked wonders.”
Asked if the desire to rekindle her passion was
responsible for the huge weight loss that is very
noticeable about her, she countered.
“You have to love yourself first. I do not see the
weight loss you are talking about, “she said smiling
as if to say, “Yes, I did it and I love the way I
look.”
Omotola went on to advise women that they
“should learn to appreciate the fact that you can
live without anyone” and that the “world would not
come crashing on you if you did so. I think women
should empower themselves while still remaining
true to their marriage and husbands.
If a
marriage is stressful, emotionally destructive, I
think we should be strong enough to walk away
from such damaging unions.”
Asked to confirm the widely held notion that she
is difficult to work with, she answered
emphatically, “Yes, I am difficult. It depends on
who I am dealing with. If you are not focused, I
bet you, I will be your nightmare.
People who are
professional about what they do, have no problems
with me.”
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