By pmnews
The recent alarm raised by the Catholic Women
Organisation that husbands would become scarce
in Nigeria in 2023 may just be right as
P. M . NEWS can confirm that many Nigerian
spinsters are currently witnessing the no -
husband syndrome .
Within the last few weeks , some of the ladies
who spoke with our correspondent reported
serious apprehension , pressure and a total lack
of peace as the consequence of their inability to
get married .
One of the ladies , who preferred to be simply
called Titi said she had taken the issue of
marriage as a do - or - die affair due to “ internal
pressure ” but that as much as she had tried ,
frustration had often been the result.
At 37 , the businesswoman who sells clothes in
Ikeja, the Lagos State capital in western
Nigeria , told P. M. NEWS that she is not finding
life easy .
“What is happiness without a man in a woman’ s
life?” she asked our correspondent during a chat
on Badoo , a relationship site on the internet.
She had dated several men with some promising
marriage , but without fulfilling the promise .
“You can ’ t imagine that in the last three years ,
I have dated about eight men, but the
relationship was often short - lived simply because
I ask for their commitment .
“I am not getting any younger and I cry every
time I see my mates with their husbands and
children .
“If at 37 I don ’ t have a child or a permanent
man, when would I have them ? Is it when my
skin has wrinkled? she asked our correspondent .
Chioma ( surname withheld) , 35, has found
herself patronising many of the social
interaction sites on the internet.
The banker told our correspondent that she is on
Eskimi , 2 go, Badoo , Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter
as well as 4 clique , a site that was launched in
Nigeria days ago .
“We can ’ t tell the particular broom in the bunch
that kills a fly , ” she told P. M . NEWS on why she
patronises such number of social interaction
sites.
“I always change my name in the different sites
but the ultimate goal is to get a husband , ” she
added .
Chioma told P. M. NEWS that she is really worried
about the situation, adding that she lives
comfortably ( in a mini- flat and has a car ) , “ but
who do I have to enjoy this comfort with me?
“I have tried a hook up programme on a Lagos-
based radio station , but my age is now a major
factor hindering my dream of being married , ”
she lamented pleading with our married
correspondent, who she considered a bachelor, to
“help dry my tears. ”
A married woman, who gave her name as Mrs .
Blessing Aguebor and resident in Oshodi ,
confirmed that the issue of lack of serious men
for marriage is giving many ladies sleepless
nights .
She narrated the touching story of her friend
who was disappointed by her boyfriend of five
years when it was time to “ settle down ”.
“My friend was 29 when he met this man in
Benin and they dated for five years . The man
was always giving the lady hope without her
knowing the man had other plans . The year he
fixed for their marriage was the year he
travelled abroad without even informing my
friend .
“It was later he called her and asked her to
find another man because he still had many more
years to hustle. My friend almost went mad .
“She is 36 now without a man. I had to convince
her to relocate to Lagos so that possibly out of
the population here , she would find someone . It
is pathetic, ” she said .
A 38 - year old business woman in Ketu, Mrs . Rita
Adewunmi , narrated how she lost her first
husband to a friend , Idayat , who was desperate
for a husband .
According to Mrs . Adewunmi who remarried last
year , Idayat was 36 and needed a husband but
her search was endless.
“I was always encouraging her and made her a
part of my family . She would always help me
take care of the kids when I go to the market .
“With time , she took over my husband without
my knowledge until the day I caught them red-
handed and that was the end of my marriage .
Ladies are like hunters these days , ” she said .
Asked why she was not married at 34 , Blessing
Osuoha, a nurse with a private hospital in Abuja,
retorted: “ that is why I ’ m on this social site.
Why are you asking ? Is it a bad idea if you
propose to me ?”
She explained that life was becoming unbearable
without a husband .
“My friends and family members are aways
asking when they would come and ‘ chop ’ rice ,
and I keep hoping , ” she added .
A marriage counsellor in Lagos, Mrs . Victoria
Aliu, told P. M. NEWS that scarcity of ‘ real men’
is becoming a terrible condition for women ready
for marriage .
She blamed the problem partly on the Nigerian
economy, confusion among the bachelors on their
choices of the women they want as wives and the
attitudes of the spinsters .
“Many women, whether consciously or not , behave
irritably sometimes , forgetting that the man
just beside them at every point in time may just
have been nursing how to start a conversation
that could lead to marriage .
“Some other ladies are very choosy and
unserious at their early stages of adulthood .
They only open their eyes to discover that their
friends are all married and that they are the
only ones left at the bus stop . Then it becomes a
terrible case for them , ” she explained .
—Eromosele Ebhomele
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