In a new interview with ThisdayLive, newly married
Ibinabo Fiberisima said she'd prayer and cried to
find a man of her husband. The mother of three,
who has never been married, also spoke about her
relationship with ex, Fred Amata.
What’s the secret behind your beauty?
Wow. I know am blossoming but that is what
happens when you are in love. I have found
my soul mate, my friend, my brother and
that’s why I am glowing.
How did you feel when you noticed you are crazy about him?
Well, it’s not that I suddenly found that love. The
love has been there and we have been best of
friends since our school days at University of
Ibadan and when we met again years after, we
remained best of friends. His kids and mine have
always been wondering how both of us can be this
close, almost like a brother and a sister. I think
the kids planned it; they were like why don’t you
two just get married and we started thinking.
After a while, we felt this is God telling us its
time and that’s it.
Can you share the experience of how he proposed
to you?
(Laughs) He is an Igbo man oh! I think the kids
planned it more than we did. That’s how it is
because the day he asked me, my kids were
calling. His kids too were calling and they were all
abroad while we were in Nigeria. So everybody was
eager to know my reply. His kids were like,
‘Daddy, have you asked her?’ My own kids too
were also calling to say, ‘Mummy, hope you said
yes?’ (Laughs.) It was a beautiful moment and
everybody was happy.
What drives you crazy about him?
He looks after a woman very well. He adores me
and he is a family-oriented person. He loves his
family. He loves us totally and he is very
committed to his work. He encourages me a lot in
what I do and we pray a lot. We have the fear of
God which is paramount in our relationship. I think
we are heading in the right direction and of
course, with my kind of lifestyle and the kind of
work I do, every man will withdraw. But no, he is
always there, giving me the strength, support and
ideas to improve on what I am doing. So, I really
do admire him.
You have tried to settle down several times in the
past, why did the efforts fail?
I believe God wanted a better man for me that is
why my past relationships failed. Besides, my
previous relationship did not work because I was
not patient enough. I tried my best to make it
work. I prayed severally and I wept. I even went
the extra mile just to make it work, but I never
knew God had a better plan for me. I did all I
could to have a man I can call my own but God
knows best and his reason are unquestionable.
Until I found my man, I have never enjoyed my
relationships. Marriage to me is supposed to be
enjoyed not endured. That is the major reason why
I am settling down with someone that understands
me properly. My man is very romantic and caring.
That is what I asked from God and he gave it to
me.
How is your relationship with Fred Amata, the
father of your kid?
I can never ignore Fred. He is my daughter’s
father and a wonderful friend. I will never
disrespect him. Even if I am with a man, I must
always walk up to him and greet him. Some people
wouldn’t do that. I have seen people who got
separated and divorced and they don’t speak to
each other in public. I will never do that. Even if
we had quarreled before the event, I would still
walk up to him and greet him. He is still my true
friend.
Is Fred Amata in support of your marriage?
Yes! Fred is aware of my marriage plans. He is
not an enemy. Since marriage did not work out
for the two of us. He gave me is support. He is
very happy about it and I know he will continue to
wish me well because we are still good friends.
Fred is my daughter’s father. Yes, he knows about
my marriage. He supports my marriage.
Will he attend your wedding?
Of course, yes! I have sent an invitation to him
and I know he will come. But one thing you must
know is that whether he is coming or not, the
truth is Ibinabo is finally hooked for life.
So, what is your advice for those ladies that have
given up on getting married?
They should place their hope in God. Remember,
God’s time is the best. No woman should feel the
pressure to get married. Marriage should not be
by force or a do-or-die affair for any ladies –
especially for those considered being over-aged.
If your marriage is not working, move on because
God has a better plan for you. If you are still
searching keep praying to God. One day, he will
hear your cry. Marriage is a good thing and good
comes to those that believe it. Marriage should not
be so much about looking at each other but looking
in the same direction together. Always remember
the positive things that brought you together and
then to concentrate on positive goals to achieve as
a couple. Marriage is not always 50/50. Some days
you will wake up and may have to give 90 per cent
and your spouse will give 10 per cent. Other days
you may wake up and give 25 per cent and your
husband will have to put in the 75 per cent. If you
want to keep your marriage long-lasting and
successful, be flexible in your attitudes. You
should be willing to create balance in your life,
and be open to change. My observation is that all
the cute, unique things that made your spouse
wonderful in the beginning are going to be the
things that get on your nerves later. Try to focus
on the positive. If you look for negative qualities
in someone you are sure to find them.
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