No suspense, I got the title of today�’s topic
from a small story on Will Smith and Jada Pinkett
Smith, American entertainers and celebrity
couple. Will was once married, but divorced three
years later. But he and Jada have been married
for 18 years, an eternity by Hollywood standard.
Okay, not only Hollywood; 18 years is a long time
to sleep and wake up every day seeing the same
face; it is a long time to stick with only one lover.
Even though Will and Jada �have built a
reputation as being one of Hollywood's most
unshakable couples, Will Smith recently admitted
that within their highly talked about marriage,
there have been times so rocky that their
relationship has pretty much died at points.
However, instead of calling it quits, these two just
find a new way to make things work...
“He told The Sun newspaper: �ewhatever you
have is gonna die and you are gonna have to
rebirth something new. You have to be willing to
ride the waves. There�'s gonna be some flat
days and some stormy days, and that has to be
OK�.
�Additionally Jada� has previously said Smith is
more than just a husband to her. She explained:
�"We used to have all these rules, [but] as you
go on in your relationship, you just get into a
flow. Will, to me, encompasses everything. It�'s
almost as if calling him �'my husband�' is too
small of a word for what he means in my life�. I
think I had a very stuck idea of what a husband
looks like, what a wife should be. Once I broke all
of that, a whole new world opened for me and my
man, oh man! I got to see him in all his glory. And
so that�f's what it�'s evolved into. And I�'m
just ecstatic about it.�
When I meet people who claim that their marriage
is all smooth sailing all the time, I shake my head
in pity, because they are making complete fools
of themselves and such marriages never grow
because the foundation is fake and defective.
How can a car being driven by two people
simultaneously not have hiccups? You will get
worked up sometimes, the relationship can hit an
all-time low, you can get bored and tired of your
spouse and feel like walking away from the
marriage, your differences can get increasingly
�girreconcilable�h, your spouse can get on your
nerves with lifestyle changes and other changes
like piling on the weight. The list just goes on and
on.
Every marriage �dies at certain points; happily
the parties involved can resurrect it.
Going through the brief story, a few tricks for
refreshing marriages stick out: Their marriage is
real, not an illusion. The relationship transcends
husband and wife; they are friends, companions,
partners, confidants and soul mates.
There is
trust and the wife respects her husband... That
is why the word, husband, is too limiting and �too
small�h for Jada to describe Will.
I have always believed that your spouse should
mean the world to you; your spouse should be a
light you put on the lamp stand, not hide under
the table. You should celebrate your spouse. If
he/she is not measuring up, sort out where the
shortcomings are from and make amends.
The other lessons from their story are: they are
no quitters. When the going gets tough, they find
a way to get going. You should go into marriage
with the mindset of �no retreat, no surrender.�
That way, like a surfer, you will be prepared for
waves that must inevitably come your way. The
final lesson from the celebrity couple is that
change is inevitable and we should brace up for
it.
To keep your marriage alive and healthy, also note
that it is like your body; you feed it with good
food. Feed it with junk food and it will become
unhealthy; starve it and over time it will die.
Nourish your marriage, tend it well and give it
good grooming. Like your body too, these actions
should not be once in a while, they should be
regular.
Communication is the live-wire of a marriage. As
long as couples are talking, the marriage is alive.
Stop talking and the marriage dies.
Seek first to understand your spouse before
seeking your spouse�'s understanding. It helps
greatly to know where your spouse is coming from.
Also sexually active couples should keep a constant
eye of their love life, its death sometimes
precede the death of the marriage
Life is too short and marriage even shorter to
waste on hating instead of loving, enduring
instead of enjoying, denigrating instead of
celebrating, grudging instead of forgiving,
making war instead of making love.
[Marry right if you want to enjoy the true bliss
that comes with matrimony].
By Francies Ewherido
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