Dear UNN Female Students,
Before I begin, I want to make it known that all
UNN female students are beautiful, dark-
skinned, light-skinned, petite or tall. I am not in
the best of moods writing to y'all like this. For
the number of years I've spent in this school, I
have come in contact with various ladies, all with
different personalites . I'm pained however that
I should be addressing y'all through this medium.
Before you start saying gibberish, please take
time to read through this carefully and
understand every word.
First of all, I am most concerned with the rate of
"forming" among ladies.( Hahaha) I'm sure that
one's a popular blah- blah kinda topic y'all don't
want to read but here goes.. So I'm at Frenzy (a
popular eatery in UNN), waiting in line to make
my order when a girl walks in. She had well-
manicured nails and in order to rub it in the faces
of the not-so-well manicured nails population
(including myself), she raised her right arm,
displaying her fingers to all who cared to notice,
as she placed her order (sister, na your nails you
take dey order food ni?), it was amusing o, it still
is and eer it's actually lame. There's more to life
than well-manicured nails. Don't get me wrong,
I'm not insisting manicure or any other form of
beautifying ones' self is wrong. I'm only saying,
why show-off whatever it is you think you have?
Allow others to appreciate you, don't jump in our
faces with your expensive nails, extensions,
dresses, shoes, bags, and phones etc. because
frankly, we do not care. Okay, that was mean, we
do appreciate fine things shaa, it's just that you
should let us compliment you and not try to make
it obvious you putting on something fab and etc.
But, really, what about improving your IQ,
expanding your horizon or doing something
exceptional we can all talk about for a long time
(and by exceptional, yes, it includes committing
suicide. At least that'll make the news. LOL,
kidding though). Ehee, I have not forgotten the
"accent forming girls" that start up conversations
in public places like bank queues (especially
FIRSTBANK), eateries (Chitis, Frenzy, Marlima
and even CEC), churches, parties, cyber
cafes,cabs etc., well done very well you hear?
Some of you have never crossed the Nigerian
boarder but you possess the mastery of British,
Australian, American, etc. accents and sometimes
a hybrid of various foreign accents.
So next time
you in a public place and a girl or group of girls
start off with their "accents", please forgive
them, it's all for "forming" sake. Okay, now over
to the daughters of imaginary "wealthy families",
that discuss their family's' wealth to any available
ear, please can you kindly stop? Some of us do
not really care and the stories are sort of getting
old, how about you pick a new gist? To all the
ladies wey dey famz celebrities, I dey hail una.
It's not that we do not believe P-Square, Olamide,
Suspect etc. have met with you (probably because
you were lucky enough to get a V.I.P pass to their
show), we just don't feel it necessary that you
discuss it for months and remind us how "popular"
you are to have met them. How about you get on
TV with them and let us do the talking for y'all
huh? Talking about famzing females, I will not fail
to talk about those that" famz" the" UNN
celebrities". #clears throat, I do not know how to
describe girls that get all giggly and silly
whenever they talk about how very well they know
these UNN celebrities to their friends and
roommate. To be honest, it's just a reminder that
you need to GET A LIFE! Ehee also, I won't fail
to mention the category of girls that date guys
because of their popularity, my dear, if you fall
in this category, I want to extend my condolence
because you nothing but a "potato head".
According to my phone dictionary, a snub as a
noun, is a deliberate affront or slight.
This brings
me to the second ish among most UNN females.
The rate at which girls snub others (others
includes, a fellow girl or group of girls, a guy,
etc.) is quite alarming. Because I'm being totally
honest, I'll just let it out here, I used to be a
snub too until I realized just how lame it is.
Deliberately insulting someone else up front
because you feel you are superior to that person
and all. That's crap really, if you know what's up
with the real
world. No one ever gets far in the real world
being a snub. Would you take your snubby attitude
for a job interview? Shocking thing though is that
most UNN females are "backyard snubs" (a
backyard snub is a snub of an inferior
quality,inferior, because they have nothing to be
snubby about).They're mostly a bunch of empty
vessels, who snub others that are interestingly,
better than they are. To all "backyard snubs", two
words: GROW UP. Alongside the backyard snubs is
the "attitude" most girls put up.
Sometimes,
attitude works (maybe with a persistent chyker)
but most of y'all use it wrongly (like giving
attitude to someone who asks for an extra pen
etc. come on, I just asked for an extra pen and
not to be given attitude).
Finally, I'll address the "loose girls". Oh yes, I
mentioned it. If you fall under this category and
you do not have an STD already, well thank God
and quit. Sister, there's no male alive on earth
that appreciates a "loose female" and if any guy
tells you he likes a "wild chick" eer, I don't think
he means a slut. He definitely means a different
kind of "wild" entirely, probably a character from
a superhero movie like Cat woman or something.
Before I continue, I'll mention the kind of girls
that fall under this "loose girl" category. I'm
talking sluts, and "runs girls", basically, but hey,
if the shoes fits and you none of the two
mentioned, feel free to put them on.
At most
parties I attend, I noticed, there's always some
girl that gets high, misbehaves, gets probably
"lashed" by a couple of guys or the kind of girl
that makes sure to let all manner of guys get a
feel of her body. My dear, if you get wild at
parties, "rock" more than half the population of
guys, allow any guy that's interested to feel your
body, flash (don't go screaming now, go check
your dictionary for this word, in this context)
guys, lash more than one guy or "lash" any man
for money, you are a slut, an ashewo #clears
throat again, a hoe. Please save that crap story
of how this form of misconduct is a way of
experiencing your youth to the fullest, wake up,
you in Africa, not America, you African not
American, Africa has some sort of moral values we
can't just toss aside. And remember life, real life,
is not some Hollywood-teenage-prom-night movie.
Remember, UNN is a small place, your gist will
spread round like fire during harmattan and for
sure you wouldn't want that. Besides, if you
haven't known yet, most marriages nowadays are
based on recommendation. Uh huh, you guessed
right, no one would recommend a "slut" for
marriage, unless, well, maybe you one lucky girl.
This is not to diss anyone though, I'm merely being
honest here. One thing I know for sure, UNN
females are wonderful people, I have met some
girls with so much dreams and
aspirations,wonderful talents, remarkable
intelligence and etc. The problem is with the
majority, the snubs, the loose girls, the
"formers", the pretenders (the aww-you're-so-
cute-I-love-your-dress kinda girls, who really just
want to stab you fifty times in the head), if only
y'all could get real and approach others with
honesty, love, dignity etc, you'd be able to attain
your full potentials, really, how hard could it be
being real? Then again, I guess I wouldn't have
anything to write about. Just remember you are
all beautiful and deserve the best the world has
to offer.
Yours sincerely,
Grace Okogwu
P.S. thumbs up to them real ladies out there, do
not change.
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